Run away. It's reality time folks.

Today I want to run away.  All week actually.  I have seen visions of just walking out the door getting in my car, and driving down the road.  It has been a hard week.

 

 

Nothing in particular is wrong.  Just life, with its stress and frustration times 5.  A house in disarray.  My soul with not one moment to recharge.  It has been non-stop. 

 

 

I feel guilty even writing this.  I am so blessed.  "Too blessed to be stressed!"  I might get violent if someone said that to me right now.  I know that there are circumstances that could make our lives even harder and more stressful.  I know that I am just being a baby.  I feel guilty for having so much yet wanting even more.  I do not handle stress well.

 

 

These children are more important to me than my very life.  Yet, in the moments of daily frenzy, when they are their imperfect little selves (we won't even get into me), we clash. 

 

 

Children are often irrational.  So are grown ups who have been dealing with irrational children all day.  So we have our tugs and shouts and stand-offs.

 

It makes my heart hurt.  My expectations for how this whole parenting thing was supposed to go were way off.  Did you know children have their own wills?  Did you know that they cling to these wills with gusto?  Did you know that that makes me crazier than the craziest crazy person?

 

I am tired.  I am beat.  But I can't let them know that or they will team up and take me down. 

 

And wouldn't you know it?  On the night that I am so needy for peace so hungry for solitude, not one of those stinkers will go to sleep.  They keep wandering downstairs to tattle or complain or have me come look for a spider they just know is in the bed. 

 

I did look for the spider but I am not being very nice.  I am actually behaving a little like a spoiled brat.  I just want some time. 

 

So for everyone who reads this blog, not everything is perfect on the Prairie.  I have these days way more than I want to admit.  Having kids is hard.  It just is.  Trying to figure out the right way to handle each situation, digging for patients when you have none left, putting aside your own need to think or sleep or go to the bathroom, it is all hard.  

 

But these little people that God entrusted to me, they deserve better than my weakness.  So I pray for strength and my husband prays for my strength and my mom and my best friend and my sister-in-law, they all pray for me...

 

Because I need it.  I need that one area of my life to give up.  I need Him to meet that need in me as I meet the needs of so many.  I want to be perfect, I do.  But it is not in me.  

 

I pray they see His strength in my weakness.  I pray my babies see my tired eyes and worn hands and know that behind them lies something greater.  

 

I pray that when I sing Amazing Grace with them at night that those words speak truth to them.  That no matter what we go through during the day, we will always end with that sweet sound.  That there is nothing that can't be repaired with tears and sorrys, nothing that can't be undone with tender songs and hugs. 

 

So I will go into them when they finally fall asleep and I will look at them and weep.  I will touch the softness of their skin and kiss their sleeping eyes and say a prayer of thankfulness  and I will ask for forgiveness for my haste and my anger.  I will pray for a better tomorrow.

 

And He will forgive. 

 

That's my KING.  

 

 

 

Oh and P.S.  To my Mama, I am so very sorry for any trauma I may have caused you at any point in my life.  You may laugh now.  :)  

A day at the lake.

We just love the lake.



So fun to splash and play!

Especially when it is in our own backyard!!

Micah just had to dive in.  The boys headed for the mud!

 

You stinkers!  We sure miss our Jo Kay today!  They are getting lots of rain at church camp too I hear.

What is it with kids and puddles?

  I remember the anticipation of going outside after a rain.  The sweet dampness of the air and the heat from the concrete penetrating the cool of the water.  The thrill of watching the water rush down the curb.  It was the closest thing to a stream we desert, city-kids had.  We would gather up things to float downstream.  Our wrinkled fingers crafted boats from trash and sticks. Gritty feet would seek out any mud we could squish between our toes or if it was stiff enough, make into miniature pottery that we would dry in the approaching sun.  It was fabulous.     

This is amazing!  We have not had rain like this in years!  Our ground was desperate for it.  God is faithful when His children cry out.  We praise you Lord for the blessing of rain!

What a blessing it is!



A fun and wet blessing.

Progress takes forever!

We had so many plans when we moved into this house in October.  But 5 kids, a limited budget and well you know, life, can hamper productivity.  So we have chugged along slowly. 

 

Once we hit spring our house projects stopped.  We would much rather be outside!  Plus, we had a ton to do out there.  But we did manage to get some painting finished. 

 

 I was waiting until we got decorations hung and new curtains to do update pics.  No telling when that will happen so, here they are as they are!  Not all that impressive but at least it is progress.

 

 

 

Our "book nook" upstairs.  This is the before.

This is the color on the walls now.

The cutest little space!  Just needed to make it ours.

We have more work to do like build a stair rail and move a big reading chair in and find a nice rug to put down.  But for now.  I LOVE the color.  It was the color we had in our old dining room.  I had to bring it to the new house.

 

More painting!!!

Yes, son.  More painting. This was the boys room before.  It was a disorganized mess in there.  Plus, the color was just not for me.  These are military dudes.  We had to man up the room.

For our manly men.  Military greenish-brown with cream trim and brown bed spreads. (One was missing, Go figure.)  Please try to envision each headboard painted in the same manly color.

Also try to imagine the antique maps hung on the walls and the old bolt-action rifle mounted over the door, oh and the missing bedspread in place.  It is a cozy place to be!  The three boys love it.

 This is the stairwell to the kids rooms before.

And after!  It is coming along.  Now that the weather is getting hotter, we will be inside and can get even more done!

Well it is supposed to get hotter but this week is just amazing!

Rain and temperatures in the 70's and 80's!  That does not happen here in July!  Praise God for His good gifts!

 

Miller family reunion.

My mother-in-law, Molly, has 3 sisters.  I have been in the family 15 years and had never met 2 of those sisters!  So it was a wonderful thing that we were able to get the sisters and their families all together in one place.  We decided on Red River, NM.

 

It was a great choice.  Molly found a huge house that was perfect for us.  It was close enough to town that we could walk everywhere.  And we got blessed with cool weather and rain!

 

It was so nice to get to meet the sisters.  It was fun to watch them together.  And of course we got to hear cousin stories like how Brandon used to shoot Sara with a BB gun.  Then there is every one's favorite (well, everyone except for Roman) about the time Roman got hot sauce in his eyes.

 

We sang together and ate (so well!) together.  It was a perfect weekend!

 

The view was ok.  ;)

 

Here are some of the new batch of cousins all cozied up.

Manda and Molly.

Uncle Galen trying to get a bit of quiet time.  FAT CHANCE!  HAHAHAAH!

Circle for singing!

It was such a nice house.

Cousin Brandon and Zaddok getting along well.

They really did.

And who would have thought that these kids would like poker so much?

Sweet babies in the rain.

These are Molly grandkids.  Notice the babies in the back with their hands in the air?  They were copying all of us who were trying to get Micah to look at the camera.  Hee hee.  They all look so sweet.  What is wrong with this picture.

That's more like it.

Grandmolly's legacy! 

The sisters!  Vera, Molly, Kay and Peggy.

That's more like it!

The original cousins!

My little family.

The other Mullins

Brandon and Peggy

All of the girls

All of the boys

Not sure what was going on here but I am pretty sure it was not Sara's idea.

Awwwww!  You know you kids love it!

Galen and our camera-shy Emma.

Molly and her girls.

Uncle Brad and Levi have a special bond.

Roman, Vera and Jackson



I though this was sweet of Addison and his daddy.

The Stokes



Mom and the kids.

Matt and his girlies.

 

 

It was really great to meet everyone and to get to know family.  It is amazing how there is a connection there without even having to try.  That is why I love family!

 

 

Now we have to figure out where we are going for the next one!!