Tonight for dinner we had some yummy oven baked mesquite chicken with wild rice and roasted asparagus. It is one of those healthy meals that my family loves. I also had made two beautiful loves of whole wheat cinnamon-raisin bread which I was looking forward to enjoying this evening. Then I went to my metabolism class. And courtesy of my lovely friend and slave-driver Angela, I found out I have to stay away from sugar this week. *sob sob* I will miss you my cinnamony-raisiny yummy lump of deliciousness. I will forever remember you but will not retain you on my butt!!!
Seriously, I never had to think much about metabolism before in my life. My weight fluctuated naturally through high school sports (skinny), college (plump), falling in love (skinny), marriage (skinnier) and eventually loads of babies (fat, fat, fat and fat). I always put on lots of weight during my pregnancies but never considered it might one day be a permanent condition. Today, it feels like it will never go away!!!!!!!! So I am taking a metabolism class from my dear friend who is a darn good personal trainer. This class is helping me remember that my choices matter. This fourth baby has changed my body and not in the I want to wear a bikini kinda way. (It's more like the I'd like to hide in a mu mu kinda way.) I now have to choose to not stay like this. I have to choose to exercise when I don't want to. I have to choose to put redeeming things in my body and not the crap I think I want. I have to choose to turn to the Lord for my comfort when I am stressed instead of feeling like I have earned a pigday.(thanks Erin Lunn for that word!) It's hard but it is a choice.
On the bright side, I have discovered again how good it feels to be active and to use my muscles for good and not evil :). I am not the skinny size 2 kind of girl but I sure am the I can open a can of whoop-it on you if I need to kind of girl. I like to be strong. Heck, I come from good German stock. Obviously, I birthed 4 children in a combined time of 15 hours. (insert wide-hip jokes here please.) What I am trying to say is, I will never have the perfect bod but I can be a kick-butt mom who can keep up with her kids and can keep her husband happy! Woo hoo!
Now excuse me while I go sniff my cinnamon-raisin bread and then drink a big ol' glass of water.