Total meltdown?

So I was away for the week and let me tell you, it was refreshing! Our church starts each year with a season of prayer and meditation. It is a time for trusting God's direction for our lives, our families and our communities in the coming year. We are asked to fast in an area of our lives that might just have too much control over us. My fast last year was coffee. (Seriously, coffee has the ability to control me!) This year it was the computer. I had no idea how much time and energy I wasted with that thing! It was a good wake-up for me. I got more done in my day and could really focus on the things God has called me to. So my fast is over and I am back on the computer with a renewed sense of how to use the darn thing. Anyhow, that is why I was off for the week. I would recommend it to anyone!

To continue to the next topic, I am a horrible mother. I do nothing but gripe at my children. I have no patience and might just sit in the middle of my kitchen floor and cry. Please tell me that you all have felt the same once or twice before.
We are having issues. Can you tell from the post above? Call it pre-spring fever, call it mama is tired, call it AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Any of those would be accurate. Now is the time for me to remember why God called us to this decision to homeschool. (It was not because it was going to make my life easier and give me loads of free time.) Matt and I did a ton of research and talked to lots of people before narrowing our reasons down to these basic things...

1. We did not like the state being able to tell us what to do with our kids. We wanted to be able to take them where we wanted when we wanted. While we understood the point of attendance policies, we did not like being made to feel guilty for removing our kids from school for a few days.
2. We did not have time after school to teach the things we really valued like Bible and real-life learning. These things were the things we wanted our children to know above all other things.
3. My husbands schedule is crazy. He works different hours all of the time. We hated the weeks he didn't get to see the kids because they were in school when he was home and he was gone when they got home. It is nice to have the whole family at home at the same time.
4. We wanted our kids to be involved in extra-curricular activities but got so tired of school all day and activities all evening. My kids were so tired and we had very little family time. Now we are together all day so I don't have to be jealous of the time they spend away in the afternoons.
5. Our daughter, who is very intelligent, was becoming increasingly disenchanted with school. She was being left to do word-searches while the teacher helped the kids who struggled. My little girl who once loved learning was losing interest. We had to take control of her learning and give her more opportunity to be challenged.
6. My son is a very hands-on learner who loves building and is very active. We did not want that to be squelched by the classroom. We realized it was impossible for a teacher to allow boys to be boys in a classroom of 22 students. We can allow him that freedom at home!
7. We really believe that God has given us the responsibility of our kids learning. Some people feel comfortable giving that to the classroom. I wanted to see it for myself. I wanted to be certain my children were learning what I wanted them to learn and really getting it! There are so many opportunities for extending learning.
8. Finally, we wanted to be able to give our children a firm base of confidence and ability before we sent them into the world. We hope that with a few good years at home, they will be well-equipped to go into the world to be what God created them to be and not be lured into what the world wants them to be. We still do a lot of praying!

It is so good to revisit those things. A lot of you have asked me why we chose to take this on. I hope that gives you a good idea of our reasoning. Knowing these things does not make it easy and we struggle everyday. But, we are getting better! I hope all of you had a great week. I missed my journaling/blogging/therapy time while I was fasting. I will be writing to you tomorrow! Be blessed.