Little Wife On the Prairie

When you are everything to everyone, well, you had better act like you have it all together.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

I don't need my husband...

This summer we had to endure our daddy being gone for 4 weeks. It was tough. Mom was tired and impatient but we survived. Even though it took a ton of effort to keep it going, it reminded me of what I used to be capable of. I remembered back in the day, before I was married, I had to do everything on my own. I was very independent and very self-sufficient. So when our daddy was gone we did it all. I didn't need him to mow the yard; I learned to be really fast at it. I didn't need him to take care of the car; I figured it out or found someone to do it for me. I didn't need him to take out the trash; the boys have become excellent at it. I didn't need him to keep the kids; I hired a babysitter or used the help of friends. I didn't need him to dig the crud out of the garbage disposal or change the blow-out diaper; I sucked it up and did it myself. I didn't need him to pay the bills, lock the doors at night, or get me medicine when I had a headache. I just didn't need him at all.

You want to know the biggest thing I learned while he was away? I don't need him but I want him! I want him to be here with every cell in my body. I want his sweet daddy smile and his strong tender hands. I want his crazy sense of humor lightening my emotional load. I want his calmness and his kindness, his love and his affection. I want him as my best friend, the man who would do anything to make me smile. I want him as the person who listens to me and cares about every little dumb thing I want to talk about. I want him as the father to my babies who adores all of their quirks and puts up with all of the frustrations. I want him as the father who tears up just looking at his sleeping newborn. I want him as the father who prays over his children with the fierceness of a warrior protecting his tribe. I want him as the father who is teaching me how to let boys be boys and as the father who is teaching his daughter what to expect from a man who loves her. I want this man in my life!

I used to think that I needed him. It is such a sweet and refreshing thing to know how much I want him. I love you Matthew Vernon!

( Also Honey, even though I did all of that guy stuff on my own while you were gone and I don't "need" you to do it, I really WANT you to do it! Garbage disposals are disgusting, car stuff really confuses me, and doing all of this on my own is for the birds! Love you baby.)


Chris said...

Wanting you spouse is infinitely more important than needing them.

molly said...

You made me cry, Rachelle. That was a very, very special thing to say.
Love you!

Carrie said...

So very true, Friend! Well said.

Crystal L said...

ahhhhh, i love this post, chelle! and i love both of you! what a great pair you are! i'm so glad you guys are together!!!